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    《感动就是瞬间的成熟》

    原文发表于我的BBS

     

    突然想喝酒。没有理由、没有原因、更没有目的。

    自酌中,还很感动——不为事儿、不为人、更不为自己。

    期间,琢磨着感动一次就是成熟一分啊!

    父亲第一次请我喝酒,感动过,因了父亲当我是大人——这是一种感激。

    父亲去世的时候,感动过,因了从此我将要承担起父亲在家族内的角色——这是一种责任。

    儿子出去马上2年了,儿子要自立,而且已经那样做了,感动过,因了儿子的看似成熟——我半拉肩膀轻松了。

    对他,我算不上很负责,这也是感动的一种。

    往大里说,这些充其量也就是一种人性的成熟。

    从未对乞儿施舍过、从未曾在逛庙宇、寺院、神龛的时候上过香。丐、僧、神、爷未曾让我感动,我可能是顽固的无神论者。这就为自己也感动 。

    可能是太意识流,曾经独自一大早专门逛过公墓(那里没有我的亲人,随便走走而已)。走的过程中,太阳一点点升起来,鸦儿们“鸹、鸹”叫了起来。透过松柏的阳光感觉很神圣、鸦儿们的叫声很凄凉。——可也很感动。

    这两样感动,都很莫名。

    07年的5.30,中国股市发生了一件大事,其后不久总理曾经说过某句话,我甚至掉泪!——这是理解了政府的苦心,也是一种感动。

    自己没那样的能力能够拯救什么,但看到别人对大众办实实在在的事情,为他也会感动。可能也是一种善良?

    马上奔5张了,不再为情、不再为意,只为了怎么样成熟。

    过一种没心没肺的生活,其实很快乐、很自在、也很从容。疑惑这就是夕阳之美?

    友人曾问:有情了怎么办?

    我反问:爱不?

    然后和友人相视一笑!——这也是感动,互相听懂了各自的意思——这是理解!

    参加过一个聚会,言者说:人的一生中需要三个朋友(律师、医生、银行家)云云。

    我也说,人的一生是需要三个朋友:感激、责任、理解!

    再加上一些莫名的感动,盖人非草木也!

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